On the eve of me taking a week off of work to (mostly) play a video game, and because a friend recently asked me about it, I’ve been wondering the following: What would I say to a younger me about video games? I think it also begs a couple of other questions: What do I get out of video games? What do video games get out of me?

What do I get out of video games?

• A sense of wonder &, sometimes, surprise: Back in 2012, right before I started teaching, I was waiting tables and working the door at a horrible restaurant/bar/nightclub that I’ll leave unnamed here. It was a shit job but it paid really well (better than teaching…), and I saved up my money to buy a Playstation 3 and Skyrim. I quit the job a few weeks before teaching and spent, I think, like two weeks straight playing Skyrim. I remember watching the first few minutes of the game when a dragon swoops down at you and being like: “holy shit. I cannot believe video games can do this.” The graphical fidelity, control, and storytelling were way beyond the last console game I had played at home (something on the Sega Genesis).[1] Every few years, another moment like this comes along. I feel like I’m going to have one of these tomorrow. Others off the top of my head:
  • The final hours/story conclusion of Horizon: Zero Dawn
  • Using the glider in Breath of the Wild
  • The complexity of the faction quests in Skyrim
  • Intentionally scoring a goal in Rocket League
  • Getting really obsessed with Gwent in the Witcher 3
  • The opening hours of Half-Life
  • The third act bosses of Inscryption
• Connection: In 7^th or 8^th grade we had a science project to do, but Cooper also had a Nintendo 64 with Goldeneye, which meant that four of us stayed up all night playing and not working on our science project.[2] There was something wonderfully addictive about four of us, playing the same game on the same screen, competing against one another. I’d later go on to play Utopia, a nerdy computer RPG[3] and Starcraft, a slightly less nerdy computer RTS with my friend Phil. I had a group of friends who played scrabble online most nights during our senior year of high school. I played Destiny with a work colleague before he disappeared into parenthood and the metaverse. I play games online with friends some Thursdays now. Look—most of the time, with friends, we’re looking for some sort of medium over which to connect. When we meet friends at a bar, is that the same thing? Plus, video games are way less annoying than axe-throwing.[4]
• Disconnection: I’m a bit of an introvert. Sometimes I just want the world to go away and be by myself for a while, and I need something to do with my hands. I spent countless hours playing sports games (NHL 91, the early Madden games, FIFA on my roommates’ video game consoles, Rocket League) and listening to music. It’s meditative, almost—a way for my brain and body to be doing something but also not be doing something at the same time.
• Learning + Challenge + Sense of Completion: There are definitely video games I play where you have to learn strategy, or a series of moves, or both to be successful. I wouldn’t call these relaxing moments, and sometimes I wouldn’t even call them fun. But there’s something awesome about the learning, the challenge, and the sense of completion you feel afterward.[5] Look all of you are probably playing or have played Wordle,[6] and this is the same exact thing. You think that guessing 5-letter words is actually making you smarter? No! You’re not learning fucking latin every morning.
• Joy: Sometimes you do things because they’re fun. It’s not any more complicated than that.

What do video games get from me?

• Money: This is not as big of a deal as the ones below.[7]
• Time: This is the one that probably gives me the most trouble. Around the age of 16 I gave up video games for a while (I didn’t buy a console again until 28). I thought that it was zero sum—that I wasn’t bettering myself or the world by playing them.[8] Now, I’d say the line I try to walk is—am I giving up human connection for this? And if the answer is yes, and I’m feeling energetic enough to engage, I try to consistently choose human connection.
• Grades: I already mentioned my 7^th grade science project, but I have no idea what the grade we got on that was.[9] The other grade that probably suffered was my Business Associations (BA) grade in law school. I had recently become rather obsessed with board games (thanks, Jim), and then realized there were computer versions of Settlers of Catan and Backgammon that would run on my laptop! And would run during BA class! And while I was “studying” for the exam! Whoops. Worst grade in law school, by far. So bad that a judge in a clerkship interview, bless her heart, asked me about that specifically! Looking back I wish I had told her the truth. Your honor, to be honest, I think this professor is completely full of himself, full of shit, and this whole class reeks of the most despicable pieces of capitalism that are actually ruining our fucking country. So yeah, I played video games during class, but it was basically a form of protest.[10] I don’t know that I can blame the whole grade on video games. It’s possible I would have just been on g-chat or skipped class entirely, but I think they played a role.

So, what would I say to my younger self about video games? The old Oscar Wilde quote: “Everything in moderation, including moderation.” Don’t let it become something that keeps you from connection with other humans, and don’t let it be something that helps you procrastinate. But there is nothing wrong with video games, or playing them, as a kid or an adult. Oh, and don’t buy a Sega CD, save your money for a Nintendo 64.

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[1] Worth noting that the graphics on this are now considered pretty dated. Which is wild.

[2] Most science fairs are bullshit, so no regrets here.

[3] This, remarkably, still exists.

[4] Please never invite me on your axe-throwing excursion.

[5] Thinking mostly about the Soulsborne series, but also Slay the Spire.

[6] Or, if you’re a real sicko like me, Octordle.

[7] Okay, sure, there is a cost barrier. But video games, on the whole, are an insanely cost-effective form of entertainment. You could spend $15 on Slay the Spire and literally play it for 1,000 hours before you fully beat it. So yes, a statement of privilege, but also damn there are a lot of free/really cheap ways to do this.

[8] This might be true.

[9] It’s middle school, nobody cares.

[10] The people online shopping during class…that protest must be a little more complicated than I can understand.