I had big plans to do a bunch of writing this week! And other things—I had been doing so well at working out, meditating, reading—and all of it went to shit this week.

We have a puppy, Rosie, and she is the sweetest thing in the world but also she got sick this week. So for a few nights in a row, we were up in the middle of the night to take her out so she didn’t poop all over the house.

And so I’d make my way back to bed at 2:30 or 3AM, get back to sleep at 3:30 or 4AM, then wake up groggy and discombobulated between 8 and 9AM. I’d spend the rest of the day in a haze. I’d describe it like: I was able to focus, in small spurts, but my memory was shot (the days are really a blur at this point), and I was super reactionary (the smallest thing could make me sad or angry or forlorn).[1]

So what am I learning from this experience?

1. I have this life rule: Sleep Over Everything. This is a good rule, I normally follow it, and this week was a great reminder why. Everything about these days where I had horrible sleep was worse: my work, my relationships, my experience of the day. I just don’t want to ever be doing that, and if it means sleeping in longer, that’s what I’m going to do.[2]
2. Part of getting back on the horse is acceptance of falling off: There are a number of stories I could tell about this week (It was wasted, it was horrible, I lost momentum, etc.), but the reality was that the week happened, I didn’t sleep as well, and I did fewer of the habits I am hoping to cultivate. And so what? I can’t change any of that. What I can do is accept it and move on.

So, Rosie is back to sleeping through the night (she’s feeling great!), I meditated this morning, I’m (clearly) writing, and here we go. Inevitably, something else will interrupt this process, life tends to happen. All I can do is accept that, and remember my intention.

[1] Shout-out to all the parents out there. I cannot imagine doing this for weeks at a time, much less years.

[2] So why didn’t I do that this week? I tried, actually. I took time for naps each day, but I think the issue was the quality, not amount of sleep. Like because I woke up in the middle of the night, it interrupted my REM cycle, and even though I ended up sleeping between 7 and 8 hours, the quality of sleep was really low, and I couldn’t nap.